An online notebook — unfinished, evolving, honest.
by Yatan
When I went to university, everybody thought I should study Computer Science because I liked computers and technology.
I thought I should study either Physics or Social Sciences.
I ended up studying Social Sciences.
After that, almost all my jobs were in the technology sector — and now i’m at a biotech investor.
Back then, I told myself I didn’t want to be a physicist because I didn’t want to be a “lab rat.”
Now I understand that, at some level, I was imitating my parents, who are both social scientists.
It took me years to realize I hadn’t clearly asked myself:
It’s not an easy question.
Some people even argue there is no free will. But I believe we do have agency — and we should try to be as high-agency as possible. That’s something I try to teach my kids.
So how do you figure out what you want?
You ask yourself. Repeatedly.
You observe yourself.
What do I enjoy?
Where do I feel curious?
When do I feel that sense of flow?
There’s a certain feeling when you’re doing something because you genuinely care about it. But noticing that requires both observation and exposure.
I don’t think “follow your passion” is universally good advice.
Some people, from childhood, are deeply interested in something specific. For them, it works.
But many people have broader interests. Or they care more about building a family, having stability, or living quietly.
If you don’t have a clear passion, then ask a different question:
What kind of life do I want?
Do I want money?
Freedom?
Impact?
Calm?
All of it?
Slowly, you begin painting a picture.
But here’s the catch:
Your imagination is limited by what you’ve been exposed to.
Without exposure, you often just repeat what you’ve already seen.
When I taught the Search Inside Yourself program, there was an exercise:
“If everything went even better than you can imagine, where would you be in 3–5 years?”
In some less affluent places, people struggled deeply with this question.
“If everything went better than I can imagine?”
I heard answers like:
That stayed with me.
If you’re not exposed to other possibilities — through books, role models, conversations — your imagination shrinks.
Sometimes you need to see someone who went beyond the town, beyond their parents’ path.
You need to talk to that person.
You need a mentor.
As a parent, this question has become even more important.
One of my kids was unsure whether to study Arts or Science — whether to go to Latin America, Europe, or Korea.
In my slightly pushy way, I encouraged her to explore courses and test them.
Do you actually enjoy studying this?
Are you curious about it?
Inspired by the idea of “Tiny Experiments,” we tried short trials — one week of focused exploration, then reflection.
She enjoyed Biology the most.
I hope it’s what she truly wants — not what she thinks she should want.
Maybe you realize you’re not.
Or maybe you’re not sure.
The first rule: have confidence.
You can change.
You likely have transferable skills you don’t fully see.
A friend of mine used to build theater backdrops. Now she runs a tech consultancy. It turns out the skills translated.
We are all pieces of art expressing ourselves through our lives.
Listen carefully.
What does the art want to say?
tags:Written in < 20 minutes